Anyways, Despite, and in the Name Of.

I watch people around me doing brave things, every single day. Women and men alike setting their junk aside to go out and own their destiny. I wish that they could see me cheering for them, these astoundingly brave people. I’m in their corner- believing in them, hoping for them, celebrating with them. Sometimes these […]

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On turning it all around

I started a new job last month. Let me preface this story with saying that I was happy, mostly very happy, in the job I was in. I had actually never been happier at work. The company was wonderful. The team was fantastic. I was a top performer and had just started to feel I […]

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the relentless pursuit of better

I had hoped that outing myself as a recovering alcoholic would open up the floodgates of my writing. I had envisioned really raw, insightful posts immediately after my last update, expounding on all of the lessons in wisdom I’ve been “holding back on” because you didn’t have the backdrop to a significant portion of my […]

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On Drinking Too Much

At twenty-five, I was working as a waitress and not using the fairly impressive-sounding degree I held from a fairly prestigious California university. From an outsider’s view, it didn’t make much sense. Why was she working in the restaurant industry and not using any of her potential? I frequently got asked by the customers I was […]

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This Is 30

It feels so good to finally be here. Anticipating thirty was about as enjoyable as going to the dentist for a cleaning. I hate the dentist and I hated working up to turning thirty. It made me queasy. It made me panic. It made me question what on Earth I have been doing my whole […]

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On Choices and Freedom

A little over two hundred days ago, I left the very secure and very predictable job I held at the company I had been with for nearly three years and took on a new role with a different organization. This new role, to all outward appearances, had the makings of a dream job. The company that […]

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Enough

One of the hardest things I grapple with is convincing myself that I do, that I am, enough. There’s this incessant feeling ruminating in the background, this self-appraisal that often goes too far and bleeds into self-deprecation, that I should be doing more. That I should be further along. That I should be more than […]

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Big Birthdays

This Thursday marked three years without a drink. And in seven days I will turn twenty-nine. On that day three years ago, I was starting over. Internally, everything felt wrong. While to outsiders it looked like I was holding everything together, inside I was a mess. I had hit a dead-end. I was more terrified […]

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The Beauty In The Mess

Many years from now, when you look back at the chapter in your story that you are in the middle of writing at this very moment, what do you want it to say? I used to want my story to be tidy and efficient and easy to read out loud. I wanted to leave the […]

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A Letter To My 18 Year-Old Self

Dear Sarah, You will change so much in the next ten years, it will make your head spin. Mistakes, many many mistakes, will happen. You will, sometimes, hate yourself. You will question the purpose of it all, and wonder if you are doing anything right. You will wonder if you are broken and beyond repair. […]

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