On this day thirteen years ago we lost my stepbrother Kraig. It was a horrible and unexpected event that ripped through our family. I was attending college at UC Davis. My parents were visiting my godmother up in Sacramento. A tragic motorcycle accident. Kraig was 19. I was 21. Born on January 13th, 1989, thirteen […]
Read MoreHere I come to you from the year 2022. I’ve been MIA from this blog since its last post, In 2021 I hope, and quite a lot has happened over the last year plus some months. To start us off with an understatement. I didn’t update you on my sobriety birthday, which I usually do, […]
Read More
To recap on 2020: things did not go as planned. I had rung in the New Year halfway across the world, scuba diving in the warm tropical waters of Guam and Palau. Not too long after spending the holidays abroad, the global pandemic brought our world to a screeching halt. Everything changed and it changed […]
Read More
I took my first drink at fifteen. Rum. Bacardi Limon, to be precise. Over eighteen years later my throat still recoils at the memory of the flavor. The liquid tasted awful going down, but it sure felt heavenly once it went into effect. It wasn’t really ever about the alcohol. I never really liked the […]
Read More
Vulnerability hooks me. It calls me close. It’s a brave act. A demonstration that the thing being shared is more important than the perceived safety of holding it inside. That the thing needing to be revealed is far more important than the discomfort of revealing it. It’s a sacrifice. An unfolding. A blessing. Vulnerability comes […]
Read More
I remember being twenty-five, newly sober, and feeling like the scum of the earth. Everything felt impossibly hard and overwhelming. I remember being scared, so scared, that I had messed everything up beyond the possibility of repair. Everything was a hurdle. I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten to where I was, why everything […]
Read More
Every time I push publish on a new post, I have a moment of feeling sick to my stomach. I feel panicky and trauma-y and question what in the actual f*ck I just did. Why do I make this choice? Why do I feel a call to share all of this? Why in God’s name […]
Read More
There’s something so magical held within the promise of a new beginning. Fresh starts, blank slates. I love them. Pregnant with hope and with trepidation, all interwoven and impossible to separate. I cannot seem to hold one without the other. In December of 2016 I wrote this post and, in closing, wished for 2017 to change […]
Read More
Twice in one week we see the headlines filled with the news of suicide. Twice in one week my heart fills with grief, deep understanding, and feelings of powerlessness for these souls who thought that leaving was their only solution to the pain. Kate Spade was one of my favorite designers. My family has a […]
Read More
I watch people around me doing brave things, every single day. Women and men alike setting their junk aside to go out and own their destiny. I wish that they could see me cheering for them, these astoundingly brave people. I’m in their corner- believing in them, hoping for them, celebrating with them. Sometimes these […]
Read More
Sarah Cueto 